Secret Cinema

A couple of weeks ago we had our second Secret Cinema experience. This time, the dress code demanded we should be 1940s be-suited, trilby-topped males, ominously with long johns and white vests underneath. We had to report to the courtroom of the State of Oakhampton at a designated time, carrying our identity cards - mine was in the name of Campus Coy. There, we entered the all-encompassing Secret Cinema world. And boy, they do themselves proud. Such impressive organisation, spot-on actors and sets, right down to the last detail. Which in this case turned out to be sometimes pretty uncomfortable.

Image from Secret Cinema (www.secretcinema.org.uk)

This time, not one, but two venues. First, the courtroom, nicely set up in Bethnal Green Library. We were processed before the garrulous judge and sent down - I got 2 years for handling goods with intent; J got 2 years for counterfeiting, promptly raised to a 5 stretch when he tried to argue with the judge. Then we met our lawyer, bought our 'library cards' (aka beer & burger funds), were sent outside, lined up, shouted at by American prison guards (very much a theme for the night...), and marched out to the main road, stopping traffic as we followed the guards in single file, hand on the shoulder of the prisoner in front, across a zebra crossing & round the corner to an authentic 1940s London bus.

A ten minute mystery drive later, we were discharged into a prison yard, and marched past an intimidating crowd of prisoners, all in identical denim uniforms, catcalling at us. 'New fish, new fish!' In the prison - aka, we found out later, the former Cardinal Pole School in Hackney - we were lined up in the gym and made to collect a bag with our own prison uniforms, strip to our long underwear, and put our outer clothes in the bag. Then marched round the building, back outside - walking barefoot on freezing concrete - through the showers, where a naked prisoner covered in blood was being beaten up by a guard, and eventually to the cells. Putting on our uniforms, we learned a bit of what it might feel like to spend some time in a cell - well, OK, a cell where a fellow prisoner sold us beer. But with the guards patrolling outside, wearing our prisoner uniforms, and with the door locked the lights switched off, it was a weird experience.

A beautiful 1940s bus delivering new prisoners

 

For the next couple of hours, we got to explore the prison and the various entertainments put on for us inmates. There were burgers to buy in the canteen - and later a 3 piece band singing 40s and 50s covers (Folsom Prison Blues, of course). There was the laundry, where you could also buy beer and whisky; and the prison brewery, which sold the State of Oakhampton's very own ale (by Hackney Brewery). And hanging out in the prison yard playing basketball and catcalling at the next batch of new inmates coming through. There was the scary prison hospital, and the shouty prison guards (those actors must have had a great time). There was the escape attempt, when guns were fired, and we were all herded together in the cell block, lectured at by the governor, and made to sing an sobering hymn.

Checking out the prison laundry

Eventually, we were back in the gym, now with rows of uncomfortable chairs set up for what's nominally the main event - but which didn't seem that important after the immersive experience of the rest of the evening. And of course, it was the Shawshank Redemption. If I'd seen the film more than once, or in the last 10 years, I think I probably would have guessed.....honest! But not knowing probably made the evening more effective. I really enjoyed watching it again after the experience of being in our pretend prison - yes of course it was make-believe, but it was done in so much detail and was pretty close to the bone at times. We ended up leaving before the end of the film (and watching the rest in comfort at home the next night!), on the way finding the Parole Board's office, purloining discharge papers and stamping them 'Approved', and changing back into our suits. At the door, a prison guard shook our hands, wished us well in the outside world, and pointed us in the direction of the bus to Blackfriars. It was a full on, intense experience - you can see a bit more of what it was like here (note: no movie goers were hurt in the making of this clip!). Expensive, oh yes, but well worth trying if you get the chance. Just Tell No One! (until it's over...)

Parole Board office: acquiring discharge papers!